-
What do you
get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...
-
Why doesn't
Dracula have any friends?
Because he's a pain in the neck!
-
Why did the
mummy call the doctor?
Because he was coffin.
-
Why did the
ghost go to the doctor?
To get his boo-ster shot?
-
Why are there
fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
-
Who did
Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
-
Where does
Dracula water ski?
On Lake Erie
-
Where does
Count Dracula make his withdrawals?
At the blood bank.
-
When does a
ghost need a license?
During "haunting" season.
-
Why do witches
use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...
-
How do witches
keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...
-
What do you
get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...
-
Do zombies eat
popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately... Why don't
skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...
-
A tourist in
Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he
hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching
for the source.
-
He finally
locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with
a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.
Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it
is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard
and persuades a friend to return with him.
-
By the time
they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This
time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous
piece, it is being played backward.
-
Curious, the
men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with
the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward.
The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in
the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then
the 7th, then the 5th.
-
By the next
day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the
grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being
played backward.
-
Just then the
graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the
crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.
-
"Oh, it's
nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's
just decomposing!"
-
Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...
-
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...
-
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...
-
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...
-
Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they have NO-BODY to go out with...
-
What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"
-
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...
-
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...
-
What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...
-
What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel...
-
What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds...
-
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...
-
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...
-
Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...
-
What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...
Halloween Jokes
